(you read that right)
I couldn't sleep last night. Gideon was practically purring, fast asleep, and trying to hug me so tight I hardly could breathe. I tossed and turned, getting grouchier by the minute. I had a strange desire to poke him til he woke up, just so he could be grouchy tossing and turning like me. How evil. So, naturally, when I woke up, I felt like Oscar the grouch, with squinty eyes, and ready to bite anyone who got in my way. But, after Gid got home from teaching his early morning seminary, (did I tell you guys he's teaching early morning seminary?) Gideon brought me a doughnut from his class.
How could I stay grumpy with such a delightful breakfast? Doughnut + strawberry milk = Alyssa smiling.
That is, until I remembered that I had to go to my ballet class.
The first day of class (two days ago) was basically a recipe of embarrassment, sauteed with insecurity, a dash of skinny envy, and whipped with modern dance with drawls. It was rough. I had to stifle back tears on my way to the car; not because I hate ballet, but because I really miss dancing with my friends, and I especially miss being on my old company. I get anxiety when I think about going to this class. It mostly is filled with girls who are on a professional company; and that's a real confidence killer. Plus, I'm paying tuition for this class. So I'm kinda feeling like if I'm paying for it, I should be not hating my life. Right?
So as I'm deciding which leotard I should embarrass myself in this morning, I got all Oscar the Grouch again. I had a conversation with myself in my head.
Alyssa I: "Alyssa! Why are you so grouchy? What is your problem??"
Alyssa II: "I don't want to go to this class. I don't even like ballet."
Alyssa I: "Well, the deadline to drop the class is tomorrow. If you're really that miserable, you probably should just drop it, instead of feeling sorry for yourself and moping around."
Alyssa II: "Alyssa, I'm not going to drop a class just because it intimidates the pee out of me, ok?"
Alyssa I: "Well, maybe you should stop being such a baby about it then."
Alyssa II: "Fine. I'm putting my leotard on, ok? Geez, back off."
Does anybody else think I need medication?
Anyway, after I convinced myself to go to class one more time before I decide whether or not to drop it, I went outside. And guess what I saw?
I saw hot air balloons. Not just one, several of them, sailing off in the sky. I stood in the parking lot for a minute and just stared. And then I smiled. How could I be in a grumpy mood when there were hot air balloons sailing above my head? I couldn't.
I went to my class. It was exhausting, but not half as bad as the first day of class. As I was cheerfully walking back to my car, I tried to figure out what made today better than Tuesday's class. I tried really hard not to conclude that it was because of a doughnut, strawberry milk, and a lovely view of hot air balloons, (obviously there was more to it than that) but it was hard not to.
You guys know I'm not always such a horrific grump in the morning, right?
Some people would even describe me as 'chipper'.
But some mornings, I am.
I'm just grumpy.
But this morning, no matter how hard I tried to stay grumpy, I couldn't be.