Thursday, October 14, 2010

worth it

It seems like I have an impossible amount to do lately.

My brain has been a whirlwind of chaos:
I have to go to work. I have to go get the groceries. I have to catch up on all of my photo shoot editing. Then I have to find the time to burn the disks and get to the post office and mail them to my clients. I have to schedule those 7 clients who have been calling and emailing me to have a shoot. Oh- that's right! There's that ward activity this weekend that I have to go to. Augh! Visiting teaching! Gosh, I really should get started on Sunday's lesson. Oh yeah! Geez, I have to deposit that check so we have money in the bank. I've gotta read the lessons for my institute classes.I have to get to institute class, then to ballet, then back to the office on time. Let's not forget that we've gotta buy a pumpkin so we can have jackolanterns! Did I mention groceries already? Gotta schedule a time to go to the temple. Goodness gracious. Along with that, I probably should be doing family history. And scripture study. And better, more sincere prayers. And I should really be trying to be better about being a better person in general. I really should be doing more to prepare for our Thanksgiving trip to Texas. I've got like a million baby showers I'm supposed to go to. Better go grab some gifts. Oh, that reminds me! I've got to plan that surprise baby shower! Aw man, I keep telling myself that I'm going to start taking classes at that new hot yoga place. Then again, I keep telling myself that I'm going to stop eating ice cream for more than 24 hours. I've gotta work on my will power and self control. And my exercise endurance. I've been wanting to write a post on my blog that isn't totally lame.Groceries AGAIN?! How much can two people eat?

There are some days I feel like I just can't do it all.
And really- I just want to crawl into a dark hole and die.
And I'm not even a mom yet. 
Not a good sign.

But, on the bright side, there are other days, when even though I know I might not be able to do it all, it'll all get done somehow. Even better are the days when I look forward to whatever is coming; the exciting and the frustrating. I hope I can grow to be like that all the time. It takes faith. And it takes trust. But when I have both, I know everything will work out one way or another, and I can even look forward to it.

For instance, I may not be looking forward to morning sickness, sleepless nights, and labor pains.

But I do look forward to days when I can rock my children to sleep as they drool on my shoulder. And I know, that I have to have faith and trust to endure through the tough times in order reach the lovely ones.

I might not always want to clean and cook,
but I so look forward to having a home full of loving sounds,
yummy food, and tender moments.

And sometimes, even though I resist inevitabilities like gray hair, and wrinkles, I look forward to aging hopefully as gracefully as my beautiful mother.
So on days like today, when I feel like I maybe won't be able to do it all, I'm just going to try to look forward to future joys. It's hard. It takes trust. It takes faith. But I can do it.

Faith, to be faith, must center around something that is not known. Faith, to be faith, must go beyond that for which there is confirming evidence. Faith, to be faith, must go into the unknown. Faith, to be faith, must walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness. If everything has to be known, if everything has to be explained, if everything has to be certified, then there is no need for faith. Indeed, there is no room for it.

Boyd K. Packer


  1. My dearest Granddaughter. Lesson you must learn to do early in life. Round your lips into a circle, put your tongue behind your upper teeth, and say "No-o-o!" Especially to the tasks other people ask you to do.

  2. Darling Alyssa. Please don't stop eating ice cream. It reminds me that you are indeed human, even though to me you're a goddess: an immortal and graceful being. You make me smile, and Yes, Your momma is Gorgeous, and you look just like her, so you will indeed age like her. I miss you. and dancing with you. and seeing your smile. cause it reminds me to smile.


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