Tuesday, June 7, 2011


1. I hate when he asks me questions (that would require more than a yes or no) while he's got my mouth so wide open that even my nose is feeling a little bit stretched out. And he looks at me waiting for an answer. And I just stare at him with big eyes. And a little drool seeping out the corner of my mouth.

2. I hate when he tells me he's almost finished ten minutes into the appointment. Then twenty. Then forty. Then an hour.

3. I hate that I'm stuck in that horrible chair, and I'm not supposed to move. I actually don't mind being still. I just like to be able to control whether my mouth is open or shut. So, when I'm at the dentist, I'm tap dancing in the air to make up for my voice that's been taken away from me.

4. I hate the air sucker that takes all the moisture out of my mouth. I hate the intrusive necessity of dental work. And the vast array of pointy tools frightens me. Seriously. Nightmare material, those things.

5. I hate the fat lip I get when he numbs half my face. And the irresistible urge I have to feel it while its all tingly. And the drool that gathers in one side of my mouth. Then I spit it out when I get home and I feel seriously stupid.

6. I hate the scrape scrape scraping of the cleaning, and the taste of the polish and all the other stuff they put in your mouth.

7. I hate that he pats me on the head three times and says, "Way to go, champ." 
(ok... I actually do like that)

8. I hate the stupid posters on the ceiling that say things like, "Today is a gift." Any day at the dentist isn't what I'd describe as a gift. They should have a poster that says something like, "Tomorrow won't be so bad," or "This is the freaking reason you're supposed to floss." Yeah. That one would be more effective.

9. I hate that he tells me not to eat for 1/2 an hour or more. Agency stealer. But then when I do eat, I regret it. I hate how right he is.

10.  I hate that I'm supposed to come back in 6 months for another appointment.

Things I like:

1. The little care pack they send me home with. (Complete with a toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, and sugar free gum)

Side note: my current dentist is actually my FAVorite dentist I've ever seen. He's super nice. I just don't trust a man with tools that look like they belong to an international terrorist. The end.


  1. hahhahaha. so funny and true. my father in law is the best dentist in the world. GRAPE FLAVORED GLOVES! yummy

  2. I love the dentist! better than the doctor!

  3. of COURSE you love the dentist, rachael! You have PERfect teeth! hahaha! And kylie- grape flavored gloves might change my perception of the dentist...


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