Sunday, February 5, 2012

Dance Log 23

This past friday the program had auditions for next years graduate students. As we spent the day with the auditioners, I couldn't help feeling this weird nostalgia. I can't believe it was almost a year ago that I went through the graduate auditions. (I say "almost", because each year they hold two auditions- one in february and one in march. Mine were in march.) Yeesh, I remember hours in the studio agonizing over tiny moments of my audition piece. I remember thinking I should loose weight. I remember Gideon editing my letter of intent; thank goodness he did. He's so much better at writing than I. I remember getting so much support with letters of recommendation. First Jennifer's. Then Wendy's. Gary's came last; he even included extra copies for me. I still keep them in my night stand so when I feel like I'm a really crap dancer I can look at them and try to feel better about myself.  People who changed my life profoundly were so eager to help me move forward in my pursuit of studying dance. And the support I was given when I received my acceptance letter? Unbelievable. I can't believe it was a year ago.

Did I mention that Gid and I were able to go down to BYU Idaho to set some choreography on Dance Alliance, friends? Incredible to be back on campus again. Gid even took his dancers to work in the Kirkham. Lucky ducks. My dancers are unbelievably stunning. I hate to admit it (actually, I love to admit it), but the touring company gets better and better each season. Gid and I were so lucky to be able to spend our undergraduate years participating in the dance department. This April, it'll be three years since we got to go to russia on tour with Dance Alliance. Isn't that crazy?

Realizing that it's almost been a year has created (I hope) a sort of surge of optimism and confidence in myself. I keep thinking things like, "If I made it this far, who's to say I won't make it all three years?" I actually haven't seriously considered quitting grad school or anything, but I often find myself feeling unbelievably confused about what I'm doing with my life. I could've sworn yesterday we were being placed into levels for technique, but then again- I could have sworn just yesterday we were setting the first piece of my final year on dance alliance. How is it that time becomes so muddled? Can you imagine what a basket case I'll be when we have kids? (shudder) What a frightening thought.

My point is-- (...what was my point again??) Hmmm. I guess my point is, I can do it. If I could get through that exhausting audition without passing out, and be accepted into an institution that isn't afraid to push me to my physical, emotional and intellectual limits, I can not only complete this program, but I can finish it a better dancer than when I entered.

...I guess that's what my point is. 

(oh, and best of luck to all of the auditioners. You were nothing less than stunning.)

Happy sunday to you all, sweet friends.

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