Wednesday, February 6, 2013

winter blues.

*As I write this I'm wearing four layers on my top half, three layers on my legs, two pairs of socks, and am wrapped in a blanket like a friggin eskimo.


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In college I had a roommate who would get incredibly depressed during the winter. She would go to tanning beds, eat lots of fruity treats, and even would watch movies that took place in the summertime to combat her sad feelings. This will sound terribly insensitive (because it is):  I thought it was super annoying. And that she just wanted attention. And that she was kind of really really dramatic.

I grew up in Texas, where weather below 90 degrees is welcomed graciously. I hated the long hot summers. I hated feeling chronically sweaty. I hated the hot wind, the dust and the sun in general. In fact, summer time texas weather made me grouchy in general. Especially when I had to be outside in it (which, in my family-- you were always outside).

I don't know why it never occurred to me that if long hot summers made me grouchy, long snowy and dark winters could make my roommate depressed. When I was in college the winters (even the long snowy idaho ones) were annoying at times, but certainly not a good reason to get weepy or sad.

Moving to today.

It's so cold. It's been cold for the past several weeks. There's a good foot or so of snow from last month that has turned into a block of ice where the usual grassy area in our front yard is. There are three days forecasted for more snow within the next week. I hate it. My feelings for this winter have transformed from an irritation to a full on loathing for the cold.
And I love winter accessories.

 A few days ago I found myself feeling blue, weepy, and totally unmotivated for the load I have ahead of me this semester. Unsure of where these feelings were coming from, I went to the closet to grab a(n extra) pair of socks, and a(n extra) blanket to bundle up in. I felt like watching something cheerful, cheesy and pathetic, so I looked for the bachelor on hulu.

And it hit me.

I was my roommate.

And immediately I felt a(nother) wave of regret for my insensitive attitude towards her seasonal depression. You know how when you judge people it always comes back to bite you? I hate that.


Wishing you all a warmer evening than my own,

2 comments:

  1. i hear you!

    don't let your regret make you more depressed. it's a downward spiral.

    i hope you find your fruity treats and tanning bed type comforts that get you through this one. Heavenly Father will help you.

    much love for you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Totally there with you sister. I need me a Jamba Juice. And weather above 30* would be nice. But at least we are out of this single digit high junk. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete

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