Wednesday, September 3, 2014

lately.



Lately I've been feeling quiet.

Lately I've been feeling like I'm not sure what's next. Like my heart is beating super fast, and my mind is racing a mile a minute, but I'm breathing really slow.

Lately I've felt like I have so many blessings I don't even know what to do with myself. Is it possible to have too many options? To the point of feeling helpless in the decision process? Can I hire someone to make some really hard choices for me?

Lately life seems to be rushing past me while I sit in slow motion. My days are packed with work, but they inch by while heavy thoughts linger over me like a scratchy, uncomfortable wool blanket.

And then I wake up from my quiet rushing and realize it's finally time to sleep. I'm exhausted but my eyes are wide open in the dark, my mind spinning.

The other night Gideon fell asleep while he was on his knees, saying a quiet personal prayer. Goodness I love him. Have you ever heard of anything so sweet? I can't seem to sleep easily lately, even if my body is begging me for rest. I pattern my breathing off of his and force my eyes to close.

Two minutes later I wake up, and its time for the slow rush of the day to begin again.

Have you ever felt like this, friends? I know it has everything to do with adjusting from one phase of life to the next, but I can't believe how strange it's been. Its been a lurch. You know, the one Dr. Suess talks about in that one book he wrote.

Any advice on how to feel extra alive/happy/engaged would be greatly appreciated bloggie buddies.
Or just a note saying that you've experienced something sort of like this before.
Or just a note that just says hi.
Any of the above will do.

4 comments:

  1. So been there girl. Many times. For me I seem to cycle in and out of it like a washing machine and this is the final spin cycle. Hang in there. You're loved and admired, and hey - General Conference is coming soon. Get some questions written down, do some research, have a prayer in your heart and then listen intently. Cyber Hug to you sweet lady.

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  2. The wool blanket thing. That's the best way I've heard anxiety described.

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  3. Come hang out with me. I'll make your decisions for you. ;)

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