I came home the other night from my little boutique job, my feet sore, and my tummy empty. It hadn't been a bad day, just a tired day. After I put my bag down I saw a gorgeous, big bouquet of flowers on the table with an envelope.
I have a sweet husband. He buys flowers every now and then to celebrate our anniversary, or to tell me that he loves me. I don't know how I got so lucky. But this bouquet seemed bigger than usual; the kind that you don't want to put in a vase because it looks so good wrapped up. And nothing too huge has been going on in our lives in the last few days. In fact, I've been down about it- feeling like I used to accomplish things without it being a big deal, and now taking a shower and making the bed are about as ambitious as I want to be.
When I opened the envelope it said, "One year ago today, you graduated from Integrated Movement Studies! You did it!!!"
I broke down laughing and crying. Last year, I spent three weeks in Berkeley finishing a somatic certification intensive. It was hard. It was a little horrible. Any other year it might've been exciting and fun, but I was in the middle of a huge pile of work for my MFA, and the last thing I needed was an extra thesis to write and defend. 10 hour days in the classroom/studio. Talking to Gid on FaceTime every night and asking if he would still respect me if I just got in my car and came home. Now it seems so melodramatic. So silly and whiney. But I remember how intensely I wished it to be over. I had an app on my phone counting down the seconds.
And now it is. In fact, it's been over for a while. And as tired as my days can get now, they don't hold a candle to the stress that came with those three weeks. No more research paper writing. No more presentation preparing. My life is so beautiful. It's not as busy, but that's precisely what I wished for when I was elbow deep in work. It might seem boring by comparison, but it's actually quite lovely.
And I have flowers everywhere.
Thanks gidden. I lovelovelova you.
I think I'll go take a shower and make the bed now….