Tuesday, March 31, 2015

10 things not to do when you're pregnant (if you're me...)


1. don't get your hopes up that maybe your belly will stop growing, and don't feel bad about it. just be grateful it's as small as it was today, because tomorrow it will be bigger.

2. don't ignore your nose. if something smells funky, eliminate it from your environment. does that sound dramatic? i don't care. ELIMINATE IT.

3. if that means that smells from cleaning and cooking make you sick-- don't apologize. just ride the wave as long as you can and enjoy it. your husband does not resent you for not cooking or cleaning because it makes you vomit horribly. he's a nice husband.

(let's be honest: you were never the perfect cleaning and cooking housewife to begin with. very little has changed...)

4. don't skip a meal. ever. your baby will make you pay.

5. don't make lofty goals during your pregnancy like exercising, learning languages, or studying instruments. make goals of sleeping. you can do that for sure. you will rock at sleeping.
(except at night, when you want it desperately...)

6. you're not going to cook. unless its cold cereal. so don't buy cookbooks.

7. don't take rude comments about baby name ideas too seriously. ("oh, you hate the name that's at the top of my list? you think it sounds dumb? you're dumb." -like that. don't do that.)

8. don't be too hard on yourself when your skin gets even worse, you lose the desire to shower, and you've started wanting to do incredibly lazy things like drink milk straight from the carton.
(still shower. even if you don't really want to...)

9. don't think about those pictures of celebrities who are pregnant. i'm looking at you, blake lively...(she's joking, right?)

10. don't daydream that maybe this is the last day you'll get sick. just appreciate that you have a cute little bathroom to throw up in.

1 comment:

  1. Blake Lively was created to make us all feel bad about ourselves.

    ReplyDelete

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