Monday, September 14, 2015

giving up on blogging and other stuff.

he doesn't want to sleep lately, and i'm annoyed and jealous by it. if i could nap anytime i wanted and have someone change my clothes, feed me and wash me, i'd ride that wave all the way home. then again, he's not allowed to eat cake yet, and i am, so maybe my life isn't so bad. hashtag the grass is always greener.

it was gid's birthday yesterday, and i feel like he needs a do over. both of our birthdays and our sixth anniversary (plus a move) are within the first 3 months of teddy's little life. which means we don't really celebrate as much as wipe spit up off of ourselves and steal a smooch every now and then. i just pretend spit up is an expensive facial cream these days.

being a stay at home mother is more lonely than i thought it would be.

i've started following a bunch of fashion bloggers on instagram. i don't know why, since all i wear oversized t-shirts and socks these days. it's fun to live vicariously, i guess. hopefully by the time i start wearing real pants again, this flare jean trend will have passed. hashtag nope.

teddy on my lap right now.
the other day i decided i don't want to blog anymore. (i just hate that word: "blogger". blegh) i decided it's too hard to keep up with it, and it's time spent that i could be napping. or eating. no, exercising! (that's right alyssa, blame your blog on not losing the baby weight.) also, it's not like a ton of people read it. also people can be jerks. there's a lot of frienimies out there.

but i don't write for other people so much as i write for me. hashtag my blog is my therapist.

sometimes it feels like i don't know how i feel about anything anymore. gosh, i need a nap.

teddy has been sleeping (read: pretending to sleep) on my lap while i've written this post. i'm getting pretty good at typing one handed. i used to always attempt to put him in his crib when he dozed off. not anymore. hashtag i'll take what i can get.

it's gently raining right now, and since we have a skylight, there's a soft pitter patter in the background as i write these last few words. maybe the white noise will help him sleep longer. the view from where i'm sitting is pretty nice right now, after all...

3 comments:

  1. You are a great writer, I love your posts. If it is any consolation, I know the feeling. My blog took a turn for the worst with each new baby. I was just looking at mine today regretting that I didn't keep up with it better, until I realized every little post helps. I admire that you can write so thoughtfully and funny with all that is going on in your life right now. And I agree, my blog is my therapist too. But I should probably really get a regular therapist soon, maybe I can send her links to my blog and she can comment so I won't have to actually pay her? Haha, that could work. Oh and we should start a new movement and call ourselves Web Loggers. Or maybe Loggers? Or grrrs? Maybe?

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  2. You're awesome! Being a stay at home mom is lonely, and it is hard to want to get dressed and get out or get stuff done. Especially when you's rather just cry because you are tired. But, it gets better. Schedule a time for a babysitter and take a nap. Its amazing what that will do for your life. Love you guys!

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  3. Reading your blog posts lately hurts my heart a little. Being a mom is hard and is a huge adjustment. I always avoided play groups and park days because I don't like situations like that, but when we moved to Vegas I finally went and it was so nice to get with women who I could talk openly and honestly with and who understood me. My husband tries but he doesn't understand. So I hope you have women you can get with regularly to talk to and complain to that help with the loneliness and frustration of motherhood. And I've found reaching out to others in any and every way always helps me feel better. I'm praying for you. The body thing is so hard as well as... well. .. everything. You're doing a great job and will get to where you feel like you again soon. I've found learning new things helps me feel like I'm progressing. And when I'm too tired to read I'll listen to conference while doing dishes or making food. And don't you feel one bit guilty if breastfeeding doesn't work out. Don't stress yourself out over stuff like that. It is not a big deal and your emotional and mental well being is worth a lot. You do what is right for you and your baby. You're a great example and made me laugh because I can relate to most of what you're saying. .. you can just say it so much better than I ever could. You have a talent for writing and are helping others other than yourself with your posts reflecting what motherhood is really like. So thank you! !!

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