Thursday, March 10, 2016

life lately.

you know how when new mammas say, "darn it, i haven't lost all the baby weight," really nice people respond, "it took you nine months to get pregnant. give yourself nine months to lose it."

....i have one more month to do that. sighhhhhh. motherhood is eating humble pie every day.
it's also trying not to eat real pie every day.

gid and i have been house hunting and it's stressful. the area we're in now is beautiful and minutes from gid's downtown office, but it's expensive. if we moved out to meridian or nampa we could save a ton of money and buy a bigger place. i don't know, would it be so bad to live in a cute apartment for the rest of our lives? i like having amenities. and maintenance people. and i really like living walking distance to the best breakfast diner in town...

two days ago i reupholstered teddy's bouncer. you read that correctly. it took me all day, and at one point i started crying in frustration, because it was so much harder than i thought it would be. my life has gotten so weird, you guys. i have a blog, and i reupholster baby seats that hang from doorways. who am i, even?
doesn't it look better with stripes instead of green animal print?

teddy developed a rash on his belly and it's been breaking my heart, even thought it doesn't seem to bother him. i've had three doctors give me opinions and none of them are worried about it. one of the doctors was my dad. if he says it's okay, it's okay. exhale, alyssa.

my sister convinced me to give parks and rec a try. i've been watching it nonstop for the past week and a half, and gid has even watched a few episodes with me. i've never seen him laugh at a tv show like that. i swear three days ago he actually snorted a little. it's fun watching tv with a husband.

the past few days have been hard. i get so frustrated at myself when i don't love being a stay at home mother. i can't get it out of my head that my mom did this times five. i know she had to have days she really didn't want to spend with us; days where we were sucking at napping and driving her crazy, but i don't have any memories of her seeming unhappy to be at home with us. how did she do it? 

i've been thinking about that thing people say about how on your deathbed you won't wish you would've earned that extra million dollars, or lived in a fancier place; you'll wish you spent more time with the people you loved.

my baby just woke up. gotta go.

1 comment:

  1. I hear ya! There is a quote from C.S. Lewis that I am in the process of making a big printed canvas of that says, "The Homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only - and that is to support the ultimate career." I chant this quote all day long! Today I was cleaning poop out of the bathtub (TMI, sorry) and I just kept repeating that quote! I don't know how moms do it. My mom worked while I was growing up and now I understand why! It's so hard not to feel like your job isn't worthwhile or is meaningless when you don't get much in terms of accolades but when they learn how to sit up and crawl and laugh it really makes it all worth it to know you were there all along the way!


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