why is he awake? is it gas? is it his gums again?? is he teething? i feel gideon leave the bed to calm him down with a bit of milk, and make a mental note that next time it's my turn to get up in the middle of the night. i struggle to slip back into sleep.
whispers. growls. giggles. how is he up again?! i'm convinced i haven't really slept since i heard him in the middle of the night. i hear gideon chuckle as he and teddy start a conversation about how the night went, and what adventures will happen during their morning time together. at this point in the day, i'm especially grateful for a early bird husband. i feel like my best sleep happens between 4-7 in the morning. i start thinking about how i should take that z-quill i bought a few weeks ago.
i feel like i got 4 hours of sleep. my skin feels dry as i wipe the sleep from my eyes. i walk into the bathroom to find gideon getting ready for work, and teddy gleefully mimicking him shaving his face. teddy is thrilled to see me. he giggles, and shows me his toothbrush before going to pick up his favorite book of the day.
gideon gives us kisses goodbye. teddy is devastated when he leaves and cries for 10 minutes. the only thing that calms him down is watching a video from our recent trip to dc.
he's exhausted. i've failed putting him to sleep three times, and i'm really hoping the fourth time is the charm. so far today we've eaten toast, orange juice, and a handful of grapes. we settle down with 5 books. he enjoys a bottle of milk. i rock him for 30 minutes. finally. silence.
(he sleeps for less than an hour.)
i spend his nap cleaning up a bit, face-timing with my mom, eating more grapes, and online window shopping for things for our home (that i can't afford...)
gid sends me a text message asking how i'm doing and reminding me that he loves me. i think how lucky i am to have a partner that not only gets up with a crying baby in the middle of the night, but also goes out of his way to make me feel valued and appreciated.
we visit the park, and marvel at the big trucks, the lawn mowers, and the airplanes. he manages to become covered in grass, mud, and sand.
i visit a charming local toy shop in beautiful hyde park, because i have no self control and felt like my baby needed a tractor toy. teddy is obsessed with it. i feel really good about how happy it makes him, and try to remind myself that buying things doesn't equal happiness all of the time.
as i walk on the sidewalk to the car, sweet babbles come from the baby on my hip, leaves fall slowly around us, and for a second i feel like my life is really awesome. i'm so happy we live here.
his eyes are heavy from our time outside. it takes less than 10 minutes for me to get him down for his second nap. man, i love it when that happens.
i realize that dinner hasn't even been on my radar (and i promised myself i was going to be awesome today!) i pull up easy recipes on buzzfeed and end up also checking my personal email, my work email, facebook, and instagram. i still don't know what i'm making.
i hear the key in the lock, and give gid a big kiss and hug to welcome him home before telling him that i'm sorry for not having dinner ready. he smiles and shrugs as if to say, "who cares? i'm just glad to not be at work!" i fall silently in love with him again. he could've married girls who'd have a perfect dinner ready for him every evening, and he still chose me. we end up making a delicious meal with broccoli and beef on top of rice with (you guessed it!) grapes on the side.
we take a walk. gideon and teddy throw stones in the river until both their hands are covered in mud. teddy makes quacking sounds at the ducks, barking sounds at the dogs, and growls deeply and seriously at the stone owl we pass on our way back from the greenbelt. older couples taking walks wave to teddy and are thrilled when he waves to them. i love where we live so much.
the sun is going down earlier now, and it's making me miss summer nights. we draw a warm bath, and teddy happily splashes, playing with his submarine toy, his duck, and the five trucks that he's managed to convince me need to join him in the bath. while i'm in the middle of a conversation with gideon, teddy manages to fill a plastic bowl with water, and pour it outside of the tub. i gasp, and gideon laughs. he's asleep a little after nine.
gid and i talk about our days, the house, and things about teddy. he makes me want to be better than i am. he gets a snack (cereal), and i get chips and salsa. gid asks me if i'd like him to make a milkshake, and because i love his milkshakes more than i enjoy looking at the scale, i agree enthusiastically. we look at old pictures of our baby on our phones because we're crazy about him, and then we watch an episode of parks and rec. (i only laugh because gid is laughing so hard.)
we snuggle into bed. i stare at the ceiling, and silently pray for a good nights sleep for us all, and maybe for a million dollars.